Into the wild

Stopping off for breakfast on a tropical island sounds like bliss. It isn't far from it either, other than the nearby road. The heat is is already tremendous and the scenery of this Key is gorgeous.


Entering the nearby Everglades National Park the road seems just above the water and the seemingly endless marsh land all around us. The Everglades is the third biggest mainland national park in America and is full of all sorts of marine and bird wildlife but my main interest is spotting some alligators. A short walk along a boardwalk almost instantly gives me a glimpse of a couple of alligators ready to pounce on a wary bird.
As the walk continues it leads out onto a large pond that at first sight seemed quiet and empty. That was until we started to look more closely and spotted around 10 alligators smoothly moving through the water hardly creating a ripple and then dipping out of view beneath. A couple of gators rest and yawn a few feet away from us in the shade of trees. Some of the gators are huge, not somewhere you'd want to go for a swim no matter how hot it felt!


We consider camping and wander why no-one else has bothered, after all the weather is fine for it so we decide to pitch the tent. This is when we discover the reason the place is deserted, the bugs instantly gather round. All that stagnant water and heat mean a classic breeding ground for the little blighters. We pack up and drive on.


We end up driving further than expected and arrive in Miami late in the evening. I begin to think more and more about the end of the trip with only a week left till we fly home. With little left to see we have to sell the car within the week and to fund the last few days as money has almost run out. Maybe I shouldn't have left it till the last week to sell the car.

West Palms, South Beaches and Ocean Drives

Through the city of West Palm Beach we drive along straight coastal roads that rarely give glimpses of the coast. When we do we stop off for a stroll along a very busy section of beach which has pretty cool Atlantic waves hitting the shores. We pass plenty of surf shops, but no actual surf, and mammoth houses right on the beach front. Through West Palm Beach, we think, is a Rodeo Drive-like road that is crammed with top designer stores all set in Spanish Colonial pristine white buildings.
We plough on through Fort Lauderdale, the retirement capital of America and quite possibly where 80's sitcom Golden Girls was based, but don't really stop to have a look round. There's clearly plenty of cash about though as mansions dot the roadside. This stretch of Florida then clearly splits in two. A large sandbar has developed off the coast which is joined numerous times by many bridges along the way. On this wide sandbar the ultra rich live, as well as the plush islands in between, unlike the mainland where people live in almost squalid housing and run down neighbourhoods with countless boarded up buildings and lonely Mexican and Cuban immigrants wandering about. The divide is enormous.
When we enter Miami this theme continues until we get into Downtown. This area is still pretty grim but has a few skyscrapers and business people walking around the frazzled homeless people. Miami is huge. The downtown area isn't but as a whole it's massive. Over the bridge onto the rich side of town is where the real Miami in the movies is. You have to go right to the beach to find it and even then it's only a small area. South Beach Miami is the place to be. Ocean Drive is the road to be on and only at one end. A clutch of Art Deco hotels line the streets and are lit up at night to great effect. This classic buildings where nearly demolished but were saved and refurbished to retain some Americanism as the floods of Cuban immigrants came here.
We stroll along the beach and into a chain burger/diner place that is within the building that featured in the film Scarface. If you know the film then you'll remember the chainsaw incident that took place here.
It's only a flying visit here, so after a burger and shake we continue south because we know we'll be back here as our flight home depends on it.
I never realised the Atlantic Ocean could look so blue and around here it almost looks like Thailand, with it's long beaches and stunning water and constant sunshine. We were told that most Americans live in Florida at least once, but not many stay longer than a few years. The humidity is a bit overbearing after a while.
We are heading to the most southerly point in the U.S.A., Key West. The Florida Keys are a collection of islands that leave the tip of Florida and extend in a curve towards Cuba beneath. A 'Key' is an island no bigger than 10,000 square metres, I think, and the Florida Keys number around 1700. The main 20 or so islands are linked by a road and many bridges, which means some islands are hardly bigger than the road itself.
Fishing and boating is very popular here and you can see why as the water is a magical pristine blue. Many islands are dotted around and are only accessible by boat so it would be handy to have one. If you see pictures of the Florida Keys you'd be forgiven for thinking it was some tropical paradise but the reality is that the busy road is never far away. Many of the islands look tired and have crumbling shacks besides beautiful palm trees. There's a continuing theme of tat and awful looking restaurants with bad lobster paintings adorning many places. We do, however, cross a fabulous 7 mile bridge that would make for stunning photographs, if only there was somewhere to pullover. The bridge starts at island level and continues for a while until arcing up and then down again to let large cruise ships through.
We arrive at Key West which has around 35% of all the Key's population and in turn is the biggest island. There's a trashy holiday feel to the place with knackered bars and beer offers abound. The streets beside look good though with countless palm trees giving the place a Caribbean feel. Some guy in a shopping centre wants people to pay him to have a photograph taken with him and his parrot. We walk out and see a group of real sponges arranged in the shape of a man. It's scorchingly hot and after an hour of wandering we've seen enough. Around the corner is officially the most southerly point of the U.S. There's a guy trying to flog paintings and a plaque telling people of the significance of this place. Right next to it is a group of satellite dishes pointed out at sea towards Cuba. As we stand we are nearer to Cuba than we are Miami so they like to keep a watchful eye on their Communist neighbours. It was from here that intelligence was gathered about the Cuban missile crisis of the 60's when they granted Russia permission to keep nuclear missiles on Cuban soil.
We camp that evening on another extortionate state park but the pitch is literally ocean side. Unfortunately it's also roadside on this small Key and the constant traffic noise, especially from the rather slow but loud Harley Davidsons that are everywhere, make it a bit annoying. We eat tea and the rain starts. Soon it's hammering us in the tent and the wind batters the whole thing about in it's sand moorings. The only thing stopping it blow off into the ocean is us inside.
We've gone as south as we can go so we head back north wondering how much left to this trip there is. One national park to go.

A beer rollercoaster, a shuttle and Hulk

On the west coast of Florida is Tampa Bay but we didn't drive the hour or so to visit the city itself, or even the beach. We came to Busch Gardens, a kind of big scale Alton Towers with an African theme. You know, roller coasters and lions, elephants and log flumes. Busch, it soon dawns on me, is the owner of the brewery that produces Budweiser beer, which explains the many beer stalls dotted around the park. The queues are short in this off-season time and we get on all the insane rides and have a ride on a circular train around the fake African plain. All sorts of animals are munching grass besides giant high speed coasters. It seems ridiculous but it works. There's plenty of room here and the weather also has an African theme.
A great meal at an British colonial style restaurant is followed by more stomach sickening rides and unbelievable tidal wave based water rides. Definitely more adult themed and in turn more interesting than Disney. If you've come all this way to Florida you've got to make the trip here, that's if you like feeling a bit sick all day and paying for the privilege.
After a rest day we drive to the opposite coast for another first. We attempt to get into the Kennedy Space Centre to see the huge display of space shuttle equipment and shuttles themselves but are turned away. This turns out to be for a very good and well timed reason. We've managed to time our visit with one of the last shuttle launches for the next few years. And I thought we just see a couple of decommisioned shuttles.
We have to drive to a nearby town to watch the launch from about 10 miles away with plenty of people who've come prepared with barbeques and beer for a bakingly hot day. We have to wait around for 3 hours to see the launch but it was worth it. The huge rumble of the shuttles afterburners make your hairs stand on end and the sight of the shuttle arcing it's way up through the atmosphere is an incredible sight. The people on the ground are impressed too. A few minutes and it's all over and the traffic chaos back to base ensues. All the way back I can't help thinking how lucky we've been without actually planning anything.
Next day it's off to the very close Universal Studies for another day of theme park mayhem. The park is split into two areas that require more cash to enter but the whole thing again is superb. A lot of the rides in one park are movie-based and less like traditional rollercoasters and more like effects driven entertainment. The other park is more rollercoaster based with a couple of excellent rides of which The Hulk was the most shocking. After a couple of 3-D rides and the 4-D Terminator movie, in which a giant metal spider appears to walk out of the screen, we dash to try and get on some rides we'd missed before the incredibly early closing time of 6:30pm. Most rides are shut at 6pm which doesn't really give you enough time to see it all. Considering it was the most expensive place to visit and Disney was the cheapest you'd have thought they could at least match Disney's 12am opening time. You're chucked out of the park and into a horrible cheesy Universal Street that has ugly brightly coloured bars and restaurants that all look fast foody but charge restaurant prices. We end up eating badly at a TGI Fridays chain restaurant, again a disappointing mistake when we actually come to splashing out on food.
We return for our last night at Eric's house in Kissimee. The end of 10 days excellent accomodation and also a sign that the whole trip is drawing to an end. 11 days left when we hit the road once again. It was all so simply not having to find a place to stay every night but on we must go.

Kissimee quick

Orlando downtown is uneventful and like any other but we're in this vicinity because south of here is the house we'll be spending the next 10 days.
It's on what looks like the typical American housing estate that you see in the movies but what we haven't seen since we've been here. The large white houses are dotted around an 18 hole golf course which also serves as the back garden's view. It's all lush grass, small lakes and sandy bunkers. Thanks to the hospitality of Eric we've got our own room in this excellent house with attached swimming pool. After the amount of miles we've racked up and the almost constant travelling we find ourselves getting some healthy sleep end up lazing about the pool for a good few days. Suddenly I've never felt soo tired.


OK so we had to do it. We were too close not to. A day in Disney World just had to be done, didn't it? It's a kid-based theme park really and only has a couple of traditional rollercoaster rides. The main attractions here are the film and cartoon based attractions by the way of new 3-D movies combined with indoor rides. We've not seen this many English people since we'd left home. They're easy to spot too as they generally have red faces and are seen walking, of all things, near wide, busy roads in town.
Disney do a fantastic job with detail and the effort put into every ounce of the park is impressive. It's no wonder that kids love it. For me it was a little dull, especially the nightly parade through the fake streets, but worth a visit just to see how good Americans are at this stuff. Either way you can't deny the showmanship all rounded off by excellent fireworks put on each evening. Going to Disney World is an occasion no matter how old you are but at least I know I'll never have to go back ever again, don't even think about children! It's a long tiring day in baking sun but some comedy moments keep it entertaining, like the lines of overweight people driving around the queues in mobility scooters whilst trying to stuff a Flintstone's style turkey leg into their cake hole.
On our budget a visit to Disney would be otherwise impossible but thanks to free lodgings we manage to save enough to be able to visit a couple of other local theme parks. Even now though we begin to wonder if we'll have enough cash left to see out the trip, unless we sell the car early.

More south than the south

Florida is the furthest south of all US mainland states. Yet, the southern droll accent and the southern way of living that is always labelled with states like Georgia or the Carolinas has all but disappeared. I can only guess that this is due to Florida past owners, the Spanish. The landscape seems similar but, due to it's position on the trade route from South America, there's many coastal towns with Spanish influence as this was a handy stop off on the way back and to Europe.
Along the coast we drive long straight roads with a mixture of dusky baron and lush foliage and not much else for hours. We know the Atlantic is on our left but rarely see it past the privately owned land, many houses boast private beach access or at least a private boardwalk to the beach over the road from their houses.
I'd read that the city of Jacksonville was the biggest city sprawl in mainland America. Jacksonville was almost entirely forgettable other than for that fact. Oh, and it oddly had a lighthouse in the centre of it amongst the many homeless.


At dusk we enter the town of St Augustine. This is North America's oldest, continuous, settlement. I'd never heard of it. Possibly because it was set up and run by the Spanish to repel the English pirates trying to steal the gold on the Spanish ships returning from South America.
A fort in St Augustine protected the ships and the town for 300 years and is still there today. Just to the back of the fort is a small pedestrian street of Spanish colonial buildings with tat and ice-cream now being sold within. The town looks superb on the whole and is dotted with excellent buildings that reminds me of southern California more than Europe.
In the morning we take a look at the fort and watch a display of cannon firing. Unfortunately they don't actually fire a cannon, mainly because they say it has a 3 mile range, but the noise and procedure gives you a flavour of what once went on here. The fort was moderately interesting but in the end it lost out to the British and we burnt down the town in classic pirate style.
From here we carry on along the coast as the heat persists but the rain begins. By the time we reach Daytona beach the rain is flooding the streets in a monsoon style downpour. Daytona Beach is the home of American motorsports as it's here where the NASCAR race series was born. Racing on the beach has now been converted into endless racing in circles at 200mph. Fast, brash and insanely dull. The town itself is another Blackpool-esque affair but I do like the large colourful prints on the tarmac that adorn the numerous road intersections.
There's a smattering of art-deco style hotels but the majority are of the high-rise Costa Del Sol style. Surfer's Paradise comes to mind. Leather skinned homeless and shoeless cycling locals are the main populous we see but on a sunny day this may well be a different place.
It's away from the coast into the centre of Florida we drive. We go there for two reasons, one is that we've bagged free accommodation with a friend of Laura's dad, the other is that Orlando is renowned for theme parks and over the top entertainment. Now that's something the Americans excel at!

Georgia on my mind

From smoking mountains we get deeper into the south as we drive along roads of lush tropical trees into Georgia. We are now within the humid realm of the southern states giving you about 2 minutes with the air conditioning switched off before that close clammy atmosphere seeps into the car.
Before we get into Georgia we pass through the southern Virginia city of Charleston. This steamy settlement is sprawling and has the feeling of Brazil. There's plenty of attractive buildings around the French Quarter but mainly the housing consists of tired shacks surrounded by overgrown vegetation. The contrast along the same road is startling. We can't seem to find a centre to it and end up riding around block after block of residential streets.
The tropical theme continues over the bridge and the large sea inlet into Georgia. We stop at a rest stop to cook some food and can't believe the heat outside of the car. It seems like we've almost been in a perpetual, but fairly dry, winter in America so this extreme heat will take some acclimatising.


Savannah is a true southern town. Hot, clammy, French architecture and plenty of shaded squares. We stroll along baking streets next to red brick buildings such as the cotton trading one below. This was once the second busiest in the world and it's no surprise as cotton and slaves were in abundance at the time.


The majority of the population here are descended from those African slaves. We walk to the waterfront through a whisping tree filled park.


The waterfront int Savannah look better on photos than it really was. Old warehouses have been renovated into dull shops or restaurants and look decent enough but if you could smell this place, blimey it's bad. Luckily, in a way, I had one of my first colds of the entire trip and a blocked nose saved me from the stench of Savannah, until I blew it that was. I spot the biggest cockroach I have ever seen meandering along the waterfront and imagined many more where that came from. The smell of rotten and warm sewers is a bit of a put off but the majority of Savannah is attractive.

We sit for a while in the leafy square on which Forrest Gump awaits his bus in the film. It's a rare thing when a city in this country offers soo many opportunities for people to sit and relax in picturesque squares. In this heat it's a real bonus!
There's a strange feeling as we get back into the car and head even further south from the old French colonies of Georgia into the old Spanish colonies of the last state we'll visit in America, Florida. The ideas had run dry and going to somewhere like New Orleans or deep into Texas or Alabama would take a serious amount of miles and time. I always considered entering Florida would be a signal that the whole trip was coming to it's end. But that doesn't mean there isn't plenty left to see.

Shmokin

After mile upon mile of green mountain views that all pretty much merge into one along the Blue Ridge Parkway we end up at the Great Smokey Mountains. More of the same really. We've done about 700 miles along this stretch and it has stayed consistently the same view. We are changing states now as we head further south. From Virginia into North Carolina and briefly over the Smokeys into Tennessee.
We've already passed through a few towns that have now only photographs as memories and vague recollections of not much.

I do remember the struggle it was buying some milk after a night camping along the Blue Ridge Parkway. There aren't too many towns and when there is they are verging on hamlets. We find a shop that is high on art produce and vegan food but only has £2 soya milk. The only other shop in town was a cafe that kindly poured some of their milk into a take away coffee cup for a dollar. Odd.
Before we enter the Smokey Mountains we stop off at the North Carolina town of Asheville. The southern accent is now in full swing and people have started to look more and more like each other. Everyone's friendly enough though and we even get a free supper at the motel when checking in.
Asheville is an odd town. In a good way. There are no chain stores here and it was also once home to James Vanderbilt, a Dutch billionaire who built the biggest house in America. You can visit the house but I think it was $30 or something equally ridiculous.
Uptight business types speed walk through the main town square as numerous hip students and complete loons wander about in between. The sun is hot and buskers play in the background as we chat to a hot dog salesman who decides to go to work everyday wearing a giant chef's hat.
It wasn't long from here were we enter the uber-cheese fest of Cherokee. Named after the Cherokee Indians, this place is now a mecca to all that is tat and crass about the American Indian population. Tourism is number one here but the town still remains free of alcohol due to a similar belief held by the Aborigines of Australia, that it gets you hammered. Huge waddling people in Hawaiian shirts bumble about town looking at bad t-shirts depicting Indians with wolves and so forth. The town is also an overpriced place to stay so we're forced to camp just within the Smokey Mountain National park.

The rain stays away overnight as we struggle to keep our measly fire going. A fairly young couple on another pitch keep wandering into the dark woods to break off branches and dragging huge parts of trees to throw on their fire. Much giggling and the odd bit of maniacal laughter goes on during the couple of hours this goes on.
One road takes you across the Great Smokey Mountains into Tennesse and numerous OK views can be had along the way. The mid-point of the 30 mile winding drive gives good views over both Tennesse and North Carolina before dropping down into Tennesse and the town of Gatlinburg. Gatlinburg makes Cherokee seem like a quaint town. Like Blackpool with even fewer attractions.
The rain now is pounding the car and we take a scenic drive to make us feel better. It pays off as for the first time in my life I spot a bear living in it's natural habitat. Meandering about it doesn't pay much attention to the short line of cars now stopped taking photos. That is until I wind my window down and it begins to amble towards us. Let's go!
The rain is now a full blown torrent as we pass through the equally crummy town of Pigeon Forge. Much more interesting name than town. Although, this is Dolly Parton's hometown and where her own theme park and waterworld is based. Dollywood. It's along Dollywood Lane, who'd a thunk it? It's closed for the evening but I doubt even if it wasn't I would'nt have bothered going in.
To keep heading south we re-enter the Smokeys and finally see where the name comes from. The rain and the humidity create a smoking effect rising from the trees and above the mountains. Not a bad sight on horribly rainy day.

A royal front

From what was old British settlements we drive toward what seems like old British landscapes. Britain at one time was completley covered in trees and now we've arrived at Shenandoah National Park it seems this is what it could have looked like.
We stop overnight in a small town with an odd name, Front Royal, which is said that it took it's name from a royal oak tree in the centre. As the car's brakes have taken a hammering over the past 5 months I enquire about a price for fitting new brake pads. I thought £80 was a bit steep so buy some pads for £10 and decide to fit them myself in the next couple of days.
Steep winding roads take us up above town and into the start of what is an extremely long road. This road connects the Appalachian Mountains that make up Shenandoah National park and beyond with the Great Smokey Mountains around 750 miles away. The shear extent of a place like this is what America is all about, massive distance like that is hard to get into perspective.
Just in the Shenandoah National Park alone there are 75 viewpoints that enable you to pull over and take in the endless green mountain landscapes.


We soon learn after a few of these viewpoints that they're all pretty much the same for a good few hours. The landscape is excellent viewing but stopping at each of the 75 viewpoints would be mundane insanity. The hills seem to just roll on forever.
After hours of small towns and endless scenery we drop down into another American sprawl that is Roanoke. It seems that some of the people in our motel are actually living there and sure enough the next morning large black women are hanging around complaining whilst their scrawny partners are trying to lug all their belongings into a hired removal van.
I attempt to change the brake pads on the car in the heat of a deserted car park. After discovering we have been sold the wrong pads, can't find the receipt and struggling with overly tight bolts things don't appear to be going to well. But, luckily the car parts shop we bought the pads from are a national chain and there is one store in town that exchange the pads without a receipt, very helpful they are to. We've wasted most of the day by now and after sorting the breaks we need to get some gas for our cooking stove. Another task that takes forever as no place seems to have the correct one. We end up driving to a few stores all across town before we can finally head up to the Blue Ridge Parkway and to a camp site just as night falls. Maybe we should be worried about bears again but the camp ranger tells me none have been spotted just yet although they are due.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is the road that links the Shenandoah National Park with the Great Smokey Mountains and in itself is a long road and not that different than the parks themselves. A couple of postcard style shots can be taken along the way.

The picture above has been used in advertising material for other states like Connecticut and Maine, which is a lie for starters. The fact that this water mill was moved from another site and completely reconstructed for tourists doesn't stop it being one of the most photographed buildings in the country. On to the Smokeys!